When we speak of mentee selection, we are envisioning an intentional ongoing mentoring relationship which assumes many encounters over a time span of months or possibly years. (Mentee selection may not be a primary concern in spontaneous mentoring encounters with occasional mentees.) Jesus intentionally and carefully selected those disciples with whom he would spend more time. Mentoring relationships take time so the mentor will want to invest his or her time wisely. Jesus prayed all night before he chose the twelve (Luke 6:12-13). Mentors will do well to pray, asking God for wisdom to choose those with whom they should be in a mentoring relationship. We cannot mentor everyone so we need to ask how many can we handle in our current situations.
Some questions the mentor asks of him or herself in relation to prospective mentees in the selection process include:
- Who is willing to be mentored?
- How well do you fit together in terms of personality?
- Why do you want to mentor a particular person? What are your motives?
- What is the best for the person being mentored and what is the best for the kingdom?
- What are your expectations in the relationship?
- What are the expectations of the mentee in the relationship?
As the mentor is deliberating whether or not to begin a mentoring relationship there are a number of other things to discern which relate specifically to the mentee. The mentor will want to discern whether the mentee shows evidence of calling to the ministry to which they are aspiring and seeking to be mentored in. Further the mentor will want to determine whether the mentee has a willing and teachable spirit. Failing to discern correctly on these points can lead to the wasting of valuable time on an individual who is clearly not called or willing even though they appear to be gifted.
Mentee selection in various ministry contexts can happen in three possible ways: (1) the mentee requests to be mentored by a specific mentor; (2) the mentor seeks out and selects the mentee directly; or (3) the mentor and the mentee are assigned to each other by the organization in which they are serving. Which ever way it happens, the mentor finally needs to accept or decline the mentoring responsibility according to the criteria already mentioned and how they sense the Spirit of God is directing them at the time.